Things We Are Bad At

This is a list of things we are bad at. And I don't mean figure skating and calculus, I mean things we want to be good at, and try, but kind of half-ass consistently.

1. Being a Healthy Weight
Food is so fricking awesome, and eating is so much fun. Sure, we kind of get depressed about the after effects, and lets be honest there is a lot of self-medicating emotional self-manipulation behind the eating, but hot damn are buffalo wings tasty as hell. And popcorn. With lots of butter. Mmmm. Popcorn. And don't even get me STARTED on the God of Sandwiches: the Donair. I imagine at this point it is self-evident why we are bad at this.

2. Being Swingers
I'd have to say going to an orgy is one of the most positive memories I have, but only in an experiential sense. I'm proud we did it, it was incredibly eyeopening .... but we have a really hard time doing it again. Now we've had some pretty intense threesomes since, and we - while we're doing it - have all sorts of fun most people only dream of. But I don't know if its us or the local swingers community but there is a deep discomfort in going to their future events. It might have something to do with the unprotected sex and serious drug abuse we witnessed, or the one couple who disappeared from the group and came back 9 months later with a baby. I read on the internet (god bless Savage Love) that sexual experiences are limited only by your imagination by my sexual experiences are limited by being utterly unable to discover other individuals with whom I can comfortable coexist sexually. And I don't mean fuck. Lord almighty there is nothing easier in the world than findind someone to fuck. I'm interested in quality friendships that involve regular sexual experiences, but people around here seem far to crazy for that. Might be our location, might be the weather, might be just the way people are. I hope to find out more soon. (And I hope to post more great stories of the orgies we did attend, too)

3. Being Witches.
Along with sexuality, spirituality is a big important thing for us we can't seem to find others to share our experiences with. Now we're smack dab in the middle of a bible belt, and as the label indicates are of a much more liberal frame of mind when it comes to envisioning divine energy. That being said, not only have we not found a local community, we constantly slack off when it comes to private practice. We need to have a serious conversation about if this is important to us or not because while we both will tell you it is we have done nothing to establish that as fact aside from collect a lot of books on the occult. Yay us. Hey us, get your fucking heads out of your asses, ok?

4. Being On Time.
I'm totally late for a family function and I'm typing up this. Yay me. Well, small steps, right? *click*